She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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