Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
No more Irish car bombs ever.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
