My entire life is one complicated drinking game
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
