do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
should my penis look like a turkey
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
We had sex on a dog bed..
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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