Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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