More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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