im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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