he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Randomize
