It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
