I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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