so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
