i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Randomize
