I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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