The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
