is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
