Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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