the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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