I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I just found puke in my bra..
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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