who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
