there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
