dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
