it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
