the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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