Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
