I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Randomize
