I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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