My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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