sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
