you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize