im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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