i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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