I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
