Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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