Who did Billy Mays play for?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
