Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
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