How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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