he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
