He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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