The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize