Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
