gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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