She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
where are you?
Hypothermia
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
My breasts were aching with rage.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
