He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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