I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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