I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
