Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize