Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
