sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Randomize
