dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize