You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize