I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
