the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
you win again, gameday.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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