Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
My pussy is not your playground.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize