Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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