New invention idea: vibrating tampons
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I'm experimenting with sincerity
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize