Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
is wine microwaveable?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
