I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
