when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
