Who did Billy Mays play for?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize