More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
