He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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