Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
