hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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