He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize